


iheart the nub

by empress-of-the-lab



Category: iCarly
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-17
Updated: 2011-07-17
Packaged: 2015-03-25 15:08:12
Rating: T
Chapters: 2
Words: 794
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7188365/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2340814/empress-of-the-lab
Summary: an i lost my mind contemplation. guess what? Sam isn't as stupid as we all think!





	1. Chapter 1

Blame it all on science. That's what I do. People (okay, my mom…) ask how I can eat like a truck driver and not gain a pound. I say will power. They say a fast matabolism. I figure, if they're getting technical, blame it all on science. It was the same basic concept here. I learned on TV that there is a cause to every effect. If the effect is that I'm sad and depressed, then the cause must be Freddie. No one else can POSSIBLY make me feel this way. It happened so quick.

Let me specify. I've liked him a long time. Much longer then I will EVER admit. But the thing is, is it got REALLY bad once I kissed him for the first time, like a punch in the gut. I mean, it wasn't a good kiss, or anything special, but it was with him. That was enough.

I want to stop thinking about it. I really do. But I think about food, and it makes me think about fatcakes, which leads to fatshakes and the whole seddie thing and I feel like killing myself. Another thing I learned on TV-the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome. All I'm doing is pretending I don't like him, like it'll change the situation.

I feel weird. I haven't been eating much lately. My tummie just doesn't want it. Carly made me a large sandwich and I couldn't even finish it. I felt like a nub myself. A crazy nub with no future, only a stupid past.

After I kissed him, the general akwardness drove me to run off in the opposite direction. I know he called after me. I remember wanting to go back, worried he'd hate me forever. But I didn't go back. I ran to Carly's, grabbed the key, unlocked the door, and ran straight to the computer. I typed in my symptoms, but all I got was a few dating sites, and an eating disorder webpage. I was to disturbed to continue looking.

I sat on the shay couch, contemplating. Did I like him? Yes. Did I want him? Yes. Would he ever want me? Of course not! Hated enemies don't date. I know opposites attract, but we're TOO opposite. I'd wear the pants. I'd be the one with the balls. Or overies of steel. Whatever. Point being that no matter what, I'd be sam. He wouldn't be able to handle me.

More contemplations. Finally it got to the point where I could feel the edges of my sanity blow away. No one loved me, and no one really cared. My mom would never notice if I didn't come home. It was at that moment I decided that I was going to go somewhere where I could forget. And it wasn't a bar.


	2. Chapter 2

"as far as I can tell there's nothing wrong with you…." the nurse lady (correction-the bane of my life lady) told me in a stern tone. "so why are you here?"

"I'm crazy." I whispered into my pillow. Or at least I felt that way. I figured that a mental hospital would make me realize how normal I am. It didn't really work. There was no one to talk to, and all the adults would ask me creepy questions. Like "how can you be crazy, you have a good life!"

I wanted to kill everyone.

But If I was in jail, I'd never see Freddie ever again.

How lucky for him.

The nurse just rolled her eyes at me. ROLLED THEM! Like a….rolling thing.

Fatshakes. I wanted fatshakes. The creamy-ness of them would fix me right up. Maybe I'd have 8 or 9 before I needed to be wheeled to the infirmary. Would Freddie be able to feel it if I were gone?

Scratch off the last bit. I don't think about him. I can't think about him….I'm not supposed to. The shrink says that if I keep dwelling on the past, I will never have an established future. He's my past. He is my past….

And I want him in the future.

NO! NO I DIDN'T! traitor thought bubble! Thinking to easily about everything! I hated him! He was a face in a sea of nubs and losers. SO WHY DID I WANT TO BE WITH HIM ALL THE TIME?

My mind was in a far-away place where the nub couldn't hurt me. So why was the warm feeling of tears starting to run down my cheeks?


End file.
